1. Not lose any weight. – FAILED – Thanks to a lot of eating at home, both Diane and I are at record low weights
2. No more making fun of smokers. – FAILED – Numerous posts on the blog ruined this one for me. And when that idiot flicked a butt from his car onto my windshield last month.
3. I’m going to resolve to answer the phone, at least once a week, when I see by the caller ID that my inlaws are calling. – FAILED – I think I was good on this one until Feb. or March.
4. I’m also going to try an be more politically correct – like not using phrases like “No speaky English”. – FAILED – The doctor that stitched me up after the lizard attack had a Russian accent and I’ve been making fun of her since… “Dee lizzerd beet your feenger? He is pet?”
5. I resolve to quit tricking Lily. – SUCCESS – Only because I can’t get anything past her anymore.
6. Cheesecake, once a month. – FAILED – Probably the reason I’ve lost weight.
7. I’m going to try and quit talking to my pets like they are human. FAILED – The aforementioned lizard and I had a lengthy conversation. And several choice words were exchanged when he initially bit me.